Guess Who's Back!

So here we are again, I’ve abandoned the very comfortable England for the very noisy, hot, smelly, disorientating and bizarre, China. I’m in Ningbo now, not Beijing, and a student not an au pair, so I’m looking forward to a very  different Chinese experience. I’ve crammed 9 months worth of clothes suitable for temperatures ranging from -10 to 40 degrees - read basically everything I own - into suitcases and jetted off.

Coincidentally I was travelling overnight, which meant I turned 22 somewhere over Russia,  and got an upgrade to extra legroom. I know, mental! What was novel though was my treatment on the flight. I ordered myself a mini bottle of champagne to celebrate my continued ageing and opened up my cards, as I gave the air host my envelopes (for the bin) he noticed that it was my birthday. Consequentially he snuck me a little chocolate and never asked for payment for my champagne - what a guy. Annie came and brought me a card and present, and I went to watch the Northern Lights out the North side of the plane which were amazing. Then I put on Inside Out and settled down to sleep. Much to my surprise a message came over the tannoy, a message wishing me Happy Birthday, it was the nicest thing. My neighbours wished me Happy Birthday and then coming down the aisle was a tray for me with a glass of champagne and selection of snacks. I was speechless, and took the tray as the hostess pulled out the tray, so overcome was I, that I tipped the tray and spilt the glass of champagne down myself… Smooth. What followed was the most embarrassing clean up operation and me wearing a Virgin jumper for the rest of the flight. Fortunately the super dry atmosphere of a plane will dry out a sopping t-shirt in an hour, you learn something new everyday, and most importantly they did bring another glass of champers. So Thank You very much Virgin for helping to make my birthday special.

THANK YOU!!

We landed, worked our way through Immigration and went in search of lunch/brunch/ who knows what meal we were on. In China it’s traditional to have noodles after a long journey, and also on one’s birthday to celebrate longevity. So for that reason we went for ramen and I had Pork bone broth noodles, Yummy for me. My friend Charlie on the other hand had vegetarianism issues. Turns out this particular waitress didn’t understand what being a vegetarian was about. Charlie asked her what was available without meat, she took that very literally, pointing to the vegetables and noodles in pork bone broth. Strictly speaking, that doesn’t have any pieces of meat in it, but poor Charlie had to settled for some pickled/ fermented noodle things. It looked like skinny green gummy worms, not great. 

Give me long life!

To reach the Uni we were being picked up by coach, the 4 hour wait for this removed any excitement and drained me of any energy. This combined with minimal sleep on the plane led to me sleeping on my suitcases, on my trolley, slightly precarious but very comfortable. The 3 and a half hour coach ride passed in a similarly unconscious state. so unfortunately I missed what I hear is very lush, green and pretty scenery. If so that’s a world away from the scenery I recognise from Beijing’s outskirts, which is arid and dusty. It is pretty exciting to be in such a different part of the country. In the typically disorganised China fashion they didn’t estimate that people would have more than one bag - around 97% of us did - so the bags were lined up along the aisle of the coach. To be fair I’m not sure anyone would've guessed that the older American guy would’ve brought a gigantic TV, I have no idea how big it was but it required 2 people to carry it. Interesting decision there. Our pit stop was the first Chinese toilet to be seen, which elicited reactions of horror from some of the group. To be honest I was so tired I didn’t care, or maybe I’m just becoming a jaded ‘old china hand’. 

Registration was surprisingly efficient so we moved swiftly to checking in at our accommodation. I’m in a flat with a British girl, a Danish girl and a Norwegian. All flats are single sex though the building is co-ed, because the shower door is glass, and opens directly out into the flat. In fact the entire layout of the flat is bizarre. There is no way to describe it, it just makes no sense. Little did I know this as I was walking along the dimly lit corridor for the first time, trying not to dwell on things like the overflowing bins, abandoned cleaning materials and brownish wall stains. I opened the flat door into the living space which comes with fridge, table and chairs and a TV, and is decorated by floral themed wall stickers left by previous tenants. On the way to my room I passed the kitchen/washroom/ boiler room, yup all those things at once. So there is a workspace with kettle, rice cooker, one hot plate and a toaster, the opposite wall has 2 sinks (the only ones in the flat) and a wall mirror. Lastly the boiler takes up the back wall. So not only is the fridge on the other side of the flat to the kitchen, but you also have to wash your hands, brush your teeth, wash your face whatever in the same room as where you cook. Ooo, Yummy!

The rest of the evening passed in somewhat of a blur, I definitely went out for dinner with my British flatmate Katherine and some people to one of a few restaurants on a campus. I had rice and veg which was filling and tasty for a ridiculously tiny cost that bodes well for my bank account given the state of the ‘kitchen’. After unpacking my room, I gratefully dived into bed about 10:30.

Watermelon juice epitomises refreshing.

My room.

I woke up the next morning to grab breakfast which only runs from 6:30 to 8:30, not great for lie ins, but it was worth the early rise. Costing a grand total of 5.50¥ (55p) Ellie and I deployed the point and hope for the best method of ordering. I ended up with a Beijing pancake, Jiaozi (dumplings) and cantonese sponge cake, which seemed to be a sponge cake drizzled with syrup, very tasty. There was also some light entertainment in the form of a ‘semen drink’ on the menu, I can only hope it’s a typo/mis translation.

Ningbo's Trent Building.

The rest of the day, in fact most of this week has been admin related. I’ve sorted out my phone, internet, utilities, attended security and diversity lectures, registered for things, had a health check applied for a residency permit, decked out my flat and to be honest I’m glad it’s all done, I’m very bored of it. So bored in fact I used a few of the talks for a nap. I did stay awake for some of it though and will share with you my personal highlights. 

To get my timetable I had to send a message to someone on ‘wechat’, which for those who don’t know is a mix of whatsapp, Facebook, and twitter all in one, and then someone messaged me back with it. Very bizarre, it’s as if the University started communicating by Facebook messenger.

Two highlights from the talk on the health clinic, first off you need a medical certificate even if you are only missing a lecture, not just exams etc just a bog standard University lecture. Also this medical certificate will only last 24 hours, so if you’re still ill you have to go back the next day to prove that, yes, you are still a human incubus for viral plague. Or, she said if you can’t move, you can send them a photo… What a rigorous diagnostics test that is! The second highlight comes from when she was discussing sports injuries, according to her ‘this one only applies to boys’. Brilliant. Not sure I need to elaborate on that.

The Health Check gave me a plethora of things to comment on, firstly the logistics of the situation. They essentially took 150 odd people to be registered by 3 receptionists all at the same time, I would love for someone to explain the logic of that to me. So after 90 minutes of queuing I was finally sent through to be given the most comprehensive check up since I was born. We had blood and urine tests, surgical, medical, eyes, ears and nose checks, Ultrasounds, an ECG, an X-Ray and finally height and weight. All together it took the best part of an hour, but some things really stand out. For instance to take my blood they strapped a band around my arm right across my highly sensitive and very visible scar, then for about 3 minutes she prodded around searching for blood. All the while my lower half of my arm started to resemble Violet Beauregarde’s, despite the rapid swelling and colour change the nurse felt no need to stop until I pointed out the issue. Fortunately, with my other arm my veins weren’t quite so shy. Onto surgery then, the lady felt my glands, fine, then asked me to stand up and do something, what ensued was a Monty Python sketch of me spinning around, bending over, lifting my legs, stretching out my arms (fortunately I stopped before the jumping jacks came into play) until the lady squatted and I copied her. However she didn’t tell me to stand up so I was squatting until she turned back from the computer which caused her to laugh. Why squatting you may ask, I assume it’s their way of checking one is fit enough to use their toilets here without falling in one. Everything else was fine, but unfortunately during the X-Ray they didn’t provide any protection for your baby making bits, so if I’m infertile later down the line we all know who to blame.

One final admin highlight, the reason you can’t take hot food into the library is because, and I quote directly ‘It can be a torment to others’. Love the language used, I feel like it fully articulates the struggle of someone opening a pungent dish in the library. 

Fortunately this week of settling in has reached it’s end, and there’s a celebratory dumpling evening tonight. I’m pretty excited about my 9 months here and am very excited about whatever they may bring (as long as there’s plenty of great Chinese food along the way!).

Bonus point, does anyone else think the 'sprouting plant' hair clip is weird? Bit alien cult esque for my liking.